“It doesn’t interest me
what you do for a living.
I want to know
what you ache for
and if you dare to dream
of meeting your heart’s longing.”
"The Invitation" by Oriah Mountain Dreamer

For 2.5 years the relapsing symptoms of a flu virus that entered my brain would sporadically come and go. For the first year, I experienced waves of anxiety and fear with the uncertainty of what I’d wake up remembering the next day. On one hand, it was challenging because as soon as I tried to multi-task or swim in trivial thought, I would get lost or forget simple things like where I was going (bless my mother; I’d ring whenever I got lost despite the time difference and she’d remind me without any tone of annoyance…even when it was every hour or two). On the other hand, it was a gift as I became intuitively and sensorily hyper-aware of the present moment. In a way, I was able to work more effectively and grow deeper connections because I wasn’t distracted by any other external thoughts outside of what I was doing and who I was with. As I slowly shifted my perception by convincing myself that my brain was just re-programming and building new neural networks for the betterment of my evolution, my episodes of anxiety changed as well. The more I surrendered to this ‘wild card’ experience and tuned into this new intuitive sensorial awareness, the moments of panic would ease, lessen and eventually dissipate on their own. Progressively, I witnessed how powerfully my thoughts could transform the energy and perception of my reality in an instance; this discovery planted the seed of my journey in uncovering veils around perception and embodied seeing.
In 2019, I had a few dreams and visions of the next chapter. In honouring the call and with the help and loving-kindness of my family and friends, I packed my life up of 11 years into two bags and found my way to Vancouver BC to attend the MFA program at SFU. I absolutely loved my life in Hong Kong and I was surrounded by beautiful families and amazing creatives doing and sharing what I love most. And when the call came to expand there was an infinite peace and understanding that all the connections I’d carry forward were rooted deep into the fabric of the interwoven web, that somehow, we would meet again, and again and again. I was just starting to peel the layers of curiosity around the quanta concepts of interconnection. I had no clue how the Universe would uncover the veils in deepening this knowing but as always…love, trust, and surrender.

Upon Reflection

“Life cannot be against you, for you are life itself. Life can only seem to go against the ego’s projections, which are rarely the truth.”
~ Mooji

I know it’s a bit cheesy and cliché, but in reflecting upon the beginnings and seeing how things have unfolded, I wholeheartedly believe that everything in life happens for a reason. My first creative mentor, Ella Ferland, once shared that every now and then life will throw us a wild card, moments that are unpredictable and tear away layers of what we thought we knew giving us an opportunity to expand our perception. It’s a gem I carry with me especially during times of deeper healing. The more I learned to trust my heart’s intuitive guidance and surrender to ‘the happenings’, the more I could remain open to the ‘wild card’ lessons and appreciate how much life is truly for our growth, transformation and evolution. COVID has been tossing those wild cards left, right and center for many of us. It has given me the opportunity to uncover veils and fears around uncertainty and time to witness the impermanent nature of our ever-shifting reality.

Side Note Story: Encounter You Experience

As my perception around human potential started to expand, my facilitation practice dynamically transformed and I began to develop a movement methodology and practice called ‘Encounter Your Experience.’ It’s a movement practice that brings awareness to our intuitive embodied sensorial relationship to space and energy (this will come up again in a future post). For the younger learners, it was all about honouring their connections to Self and developing their ‘superpowers’ such as seeing with compassion and hearing through felt sensation.

** Coming up next: Meeting my future collaborators and supervisor.

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